If you’re like me, you get just a little bit nervous every time someone sings for the first time in front of a large crowd. I worry for them that they might mess up, or forget the words, or miss the notes, and that the audience will not be as graceful or forgiving in their analysis of the performance. So at the beginning, I sometimes spend a good portion of the song praying that they not mess it up–when it’s live, pretty much anything can happen.

So this singer starts her song, and it starts out low. I worry that she might not hit all the low notes, or that her words will get lost in the low pitch of her voice. She’s not singing very loudly, so I worry that she’s not very confident in herself, or her voice, or the choice of song. Her voice is shaky, so I worry that she’s getting emotional and at any given second could burst into tears, or run off the stage, or not be able to finish the song in front of the crowd. I’m so nervous for her, because she’s been on stage all night and has not yet sung lead on any song, and it seems she has had a shaky beginning.

Then comes the chorus. And she belts out with wild abandonment and perfect pitch a song she was created to sing. And it. is. glorious.

I mean it. I’m worshipping the Lord God Almighty because of how He’s revealing Himself to me in her song and it hits me: the chorus is more powerful and more beautiful because of my perception of her beginning.

This shifted my world.

It gave me this wonderful picture of how much glory God gets in our stories–no matter our beginning, no matter other people’s perception. It also made me realign my thoughts on perception. Perhaps there was more flaw in my perception of things than flaw in the things (or people) themselves. Powerful stuff.

I’m still working through all of this in my heart, but let this be an encouragement to you and a reminder to me: if you see someone step out in something new, and they seem to be kinda shaky, or they appear to have a rough start–just wait for God to show up in the chorus, because He will (because HE’S GOD) and when He does, it will be the most beautiful song you’ve ever heard, the clearest picture of a life lived in obedience, and the most powerful witness and worship you may ever experience. Be encouraged! God is working if we can but ask Him to shift our perspective and wait patiently for the best part.

Sometimes, to remember something we know so well that it’s slipped into the comfortable recesses of ‘everyday,’ it takes a fresh perspective to serve as a reminder of something our soul knows deeply. This weekend was one such reminder.

I was walking around the campus of Alabama, which holds childhood memories, graduate school memories, and new ones being formed with Stahler (somehow old enough to be a student) and with Grant as my husband. It is a really wonderful place; it is endeared to me in that rare way that few places ever can be. I was walking around and was acutely aware of the life in it–the young, flirty co-eds on first-dates, blind-dates, great-dates, and horrible ones. There is such a pulse for social interaction, it’s not only visible but tangible. It’s exciting just being around it. And I wondered why that is–what is it that close proximity brings out in me this joie de vivre?

It’s the excitement of not knowing.

So much of these students’ lives are unwritten pages–where to go, do, live, be. Where will they work? Who will they marry? Will they have children? Will they live abroad or return to their same small town? Will they change the world? Be the next president? It’s all completely unknown as of yet for them. This is exciting.

There is life in not knowing.

The flip side of this, of course, is the unparalleled intimacy, comfort, security, and solace found in knowing–there’s life in that too. That kind of biblical knowing that comes only within the covenant of marriage and grows (somehow) beautifully wider and deeper with time. Yes, there’s life in that; often time life comes from that–children, healing, growth, maturation, sanctification, wisdom, knowledge, experience. Both are good–and if I had to choose, I would DEFINITELY choose knowing, but we who think we know each other, need the reminder: we don’t know everything about each other yet–and we can still surprise ourselves…!!

I think that, in learning more about God, we go through really exciting times of not knowing, really intimate times of knowing, and much in between. Sometimes the knowing hurts. Sometimes the not knowing hurts. Both are good for the soul.

It was just such a wonderful reminder, that as comfortable and safe and intimate and secure and sure we are of each other and ourselves and our marriage, there is so much more that we do not yet know and there is life and excitement in recognizing the ability we have to surprise–our pages are also unwritten…!

I really wish I had more time to write 😦 but I’m in a wonderfully new season of life that includes a lot more working, scheduling, playing meal-tag with Grant, and planning family nights with all 4 of us (L, G, Evan, and Georgia 😉 so the writing gets put on the back burner… for now.

Things are really good, though; just because you haven’t heard from me in an embarrassingly long time doesn’t mean things aren’t good. And just because I don’t have endless hours a day to spend in prayer or pouring over commentary learning more about The Text, doesn’t mean God’s not teaching me–it’s a whole new season of growth, different than any other. I love it. God is so good and so faithful.

I’m in a sort of review period with Him, where He’s reminding me of all the things I’ve learned probably in the past 2 or 3 years–discipline, obedience, forgiveness, love, sacrifice without need for justification, generous giving–all topics I feel I’ve blogged openly about here 😉 for those of you who’ve had the patience to drudge through my writing ;))

He’s always doing a new thing–thank the Lord–and He’s doing a new thing in me today. I’m having the incredible experience of seeing those around me catch on FIRE with the Love of God and the Knowledge of the Holy Spirit. Honestly, it’s just a privilege to be near them as they discover new things about the character of the Lord, walk through the stories of the Old Testament and Acts, stand amazed as God shows up and proves Himself faithful, and humbly present their requests for MORE to God.

My cup runneth over. Amen.

So much to say…..!!!!

Can’t write much now. Still processing. But a few highlights were tweeted. My top 3 were Beth Moore, Francis Chan, and Craig Groeschel. Beth and FranChan pack so much power in the punch because they preach the Word of God; the scripture-heavy, revelation inspiring, depth revealing, overwhelming (in a GREAT way) talks they give leave you full to the brim and yet yearning for more.

Craig’s talk today could be the pivotal conversation of our generation–explained and examined in a way that brought power and peace, might that comes from the Spirit and humility that comes from obedience, boldness that comes from the Hope we have in Jesus and a beseeching that comes only out of a heart ruled by love.

To say that it was powerful would be a gross understatement.

To say that it marked the end of something in the Church in America that will not be missed and the beginning of something that may never be replaced is closer to target.

Trust me. God is good. God is faithful. He is still sovereign. He is still speaking. and perhaps, most importantly: HE IS STILL MOVING IN THIS NATION.

Amen. [more to come!]

Why don’t we talk about this much in the church? If we believe that the world in which we live is a broken and fallen place where we need–daily–the Hope of salvation to survive, why don’t we spend more time talking about the constant war that is raging and our place in it?

Jesus “was manifested for the purpose of destroying the works of the devil” (1 Jn 3:8b).
God “has rescued/delivered us from the kingdom of darkness” through Jesus (Col 1:13-14).
Jesus sought to prepare us for spiritual warfare and to stand with us against it (Mat 16:18b).
The power of the Holy Spirit is the only way we can wage war against evil (Mat 12:28-29).
The epistles of the New Testament speak continually about its importance and the authority we have (and responsibility we have) in Jesus’ name (Jn 16:7,13-15).

Scriptural Basis:
“Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” (Romans 12:21 NKJV)
“…the battle is the LORD’s…” (1 Samuel 17:47 KJV)
“…the enemy… is the devil…” (Matthew 13:37-39 KJV)
“The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy…” (John 10:10a NKJV)
“We are human, but we don’t wage war as humans do. We use God’s mighty weapons, not worldly weapons, to knock down the strongholds….” (2 Corinthians 10:3-4 NLT)
“Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.” (Ephesians 6:11)
“For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty power in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.” (Ephesians 6:12)
“For this purpose the Son of God was manifested, that He might destroy the works of the devil.” (1 John 3:8b KJV)
“For He has recused us from the kingdom of darkness and transferred us into the kingdom of His dear Son, who purchased our freedom and forgave our sins.” (Colossians 1:13-14 NLT)
“But if I am casting out demons by the Spirit of God, then the Kingdom of God has arrived among you. For who is powerful enough to enter the house of a strong man like satan and plunder his goods? Only someOne even stronger–someOne who could tie him up and then plunder his house.” (Jesus speaking, Mat 12:28-29 NLT).
“I will build my church; and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.” (Matthew 16:18 KJV)
“No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ who loved us. And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries for tomorrow–not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below–indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
(Romans 8:37-39 NLT)

All this to say: I’ve been experiencing a lot of spiritual warfare lately and it is not strange or unexpected–the devil is rather unimaginative, actually.

I spent the better part of yesterday in the ER because of an intense and paralyzing pain that was the result of a ruptured cyst on my left ovary (we later discovered). I have never felt anything like it. It was a complex cyst which means is was really big (about 2 inches) and had other things in it than just water liquid. If my ovary was a football, this would have been an explosive wound that was at least the length of the laces and twice as wide; and what came out when it burst was not simply water–hence the intense and immediate pain.

This is not a coincidence.
1. One week ago we added a member to our family–Evan. So satan attacks my ovaries (ability to become a mother to many).
2. The day I spent in the ER was the day we were supposed to meet my parents in Chattanooga so that they could meet Evan and welcome him into our larger family. So satan tried to mess up that plan and deny Evan that connection of love.
3. The issue of getting pregnant or not has been a hot topic with me and grant for almost a year. So satan wanted to come in and speak death over our future ability to have kids.

BUT GOD SPEAKS LIFE.

God wants to extend the boarders of our tent with children (Isa 54:2). God wants Evan to feel fully accepted into a loving family (Mark 1:11). God wants for me and Grant to honor His command to open our hearts and homes to His kids–orphans like Evan (James 1:27).

Spiritual warfare is not as “mystical” as it sometimes seems.
It is real.
It is spiritual.
It is both. But God has already won, the victory is His in Jesus Christ. and His plans (for me, for us, for Evan, for my ovaries and health) CANNOT be thwarted (Job 42:2). Ever (Deut 31:6,8).

God speaks LIFE (Gen 1:27-28).

So when satan comes against us when we are simply being obedient to God, we have Hope and do not lose heart (2 Cor 4:1). I know exactly what satan’s trying to do; problem for him is: we love, trust, and belong TO JESUS. and I will praise Him forever. Amen!

“”Sing, O childless woman, you who have never given birth! Break into loud and joyful song, O Jerusalem, you who have never been in labor. For the desolate woman now has more children than the woman who has many sons with her husband,” says the LORD.” (Isa 54:1).