this is my hearbeat:
this is my prayer:

YOUR TIME
YOUR WILL
YOUR WAY

O God!

Psalm 38:9: “You know what I long for, Lord; you hear my every sigh”

Psalm 27:14: Yet I will “wait patiently for the Lord. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the Lord.”

you’re welcome.

Should’ve posted all this weeks ago… but here it is:
[pics to follow]
We went to the City Nov 13-17th and it was incredible–our first time going together. Very sweet for many reasons.

First things first: Shows:
We saw the Rockettes in the Radio City Music Hall’s Christmas Spectacular on opening day and it was FANtastic (thanks, Gma for the tickets!)! We were happily surprised by the quality and caliber of the show. Wow. Also, they had a full Nativity with camels, sheep, donkeys, and other animals! They read from the Bible about the birth of Christ–wow–and portrayed it in such a moving way. I had no idea that a show that receives so much coverage and visibility would even discuss the True Meaning of Christmas. Grant and I just kinda sat there afterwards thanking God that His message will be spread, even when we don’t anticipate how or when or through what means. Praise God. We also saw Wicked! Which is always a favorite! Grant had never seen it and it was great to experience it anew with him. We both laughed and [I] sang along. It was a great shared memory. What a story of love, friendship, ambition, salvation, redemption, and escape. Loved it.

Everything Else 😉
There is skating at Bryant Park and at the Rockefeller Center (I was too tired to partake, but it was beautiful to watch). I ate lunch with Sara Dotts Barley (a friend from high school, now a newly wed on the upper east side) at Republic @ Union Sq West. The Barnes and Noble on the Square is amazing and their headquarters is just around the corner–very cool if you’re into books and happy places to read… which I am 😉 I also got to meet up with Lindsey Beth Medlen–another friend from high school who is currently starring in the Off-Broadway hit “High School Musical” as Sharpay! We ate in Midtown @ Brooklyn Bagels (the majority of which are NOT in Brooklyn). Great to catch up, as usual. The Village is always fun and young with great quick bites to eat an they’ve just finished up some work on Washington Sq Park–which is where I spent an afternoon, hanging out, reading, and sitting in the sun soaking up NY like a local. Central Park is magical, as always (post-Giuliani). We walked across the bridge (and thought of Brandon proposing to Kathleen), heard a saxophone player, and saw a woman doing yoga in the middle of a wayward path. We also went over to the West Entrance and crossed the street into the American Museum of Natural History (amnh.org). We were amazed at the sea life, Africa and Asian wild life and, of course, the dinosaurs. Plus, the ticket price is “suggested” so we went for a dollar each! Amazing 4 floors of unparalleled excellence (I’m a museum geek, what can I say?).

This trip was different for me b/c I took on nyc like a new yorker more than a tourist to see what life would really be like. We were trying to decipher whether or not law school would take us to the Big Apple. So we spent time eating at local digs, spending time in several parks, walking the brooklyn bridge (gorgeous), visiting the birthplace of TRoosevelt, the NYPublicLib, and exploring the Flatiron district. In fact, I fell in love with Gramercy Park and that whole area. Wow. Perhaps some day… It was great! I certainly had a blast, despite mono, though. That was a major plus.

We’re not sure where law school will take us–or even, if we’ll both go–but we’re prayerfully considering all our options, which, praise God, we have many of despite the recession. It was a wonderful trip with memories made together and I got some time to myself while Grant was working Monday and Tuesday to explore the city, mill around, do and see what I wanted to and spend time however I saw fit. Wouldn’t trade it for the world.

Ps. I have married the best man in the world. Thank God for Grant. He was a real trooper for traveling with me and mono. Marrying him is the highlight of my life. Thanks for making this trip great, babe. Love you.

Wow. I know the critics are ripping it to undead shreds, but it was AWESOME. By far better than the first and perhaps my favorite of all four in the long run–we’ll see. This book translated much better into film.

Better than the book [can I say that as a respectable English Major and still walk among my own kind?] the love triangle is MUCH more convincing than the book ever could’ve been.

As I read the book, I was frustrated by even the possibility that Bella could ever replace or try to fake her love for Edward with any one else. He was too much the perfect hero and she was sulky and selfish and undesirable as a character and Jacob left much to be desired. How could a young, pubescent werewolf possibly offer anything that could compare to Edward’s undying love? Oh yeah: a ridiculous warm blooded body transmitting sexual tension and radiating adoration and protection. That’s how. It’s so much more believable in the movie than in the book.

Because so much of the book is in the characters’ heads, as the reader you’re never given the chance to believe that it could work for Jacob and Bella, that he could offer her life where she doesn’t have to damn her soul or change who she is. He offers her, perhaps, a better deal than Edward: don’t change for me, let me protect you and keep you warm always, I’m your dad’s favorite and I will never leave you. How she flip-flops so easily back into indifferent and impulsive Edward’s cold arms is a mystery to me now.

He broke your heart. He left you in the middle of a big black hole of depression and desperation. You attempted to hurt yourself to be nearer to him. And he comes back and poof, this is the better more “healthy” relationship that you choose OVER Jacob’s body? Really, Bella? I know. You and Edward have such a history and he’s always saving you and all, but you and Jacob have developed a more grounded realistic existence together. He’s saved your life multiple times, too, you know. And he’s not asking anything of you. Being with him is not dangerous. Your physical body nor immortal soul is at stake. You choose Edward? It makes more since in the book, though I’m at a loss currently at remembering how or why. The movie makes Bella look stupid and impetuous, Edward look weak, and Jacob look like the hero next door and forever faithful love interest who would never hurt Bella the way Edward did.

I am, at this moment, rereading the book (which I never really liked before, skipping quickly to the end before even reading through the middle the first few times) to try to remember why I was so Team Edward up until the movie last night. For some reason all I can remember is Jacob’s warm-blooded man body and Edward’s laughable slow-mo clip. I’m hoping to take more away from the book on this read and be a little more balanced in my assessment of the whole Team Edward Team Jacob thing.

Right now I’m 100% Team Jacob. He stole the show. The entire movie was his. And he did not disappoint. Go Team!

i officially have mono. they pricked my finger and everything (the jerks) and it came back positive for mononucleosis (yuck).

the good news is: no physical or mental exertion for the next few days/ week. bed rest + disney movies = ok with me!

the bad news is: we’re leaving for 4 fabulous days in new york friday!! i’m totally going. even if they have to lift me out of the cab and onto a curb in times square, i will go people watch. there will be some things we probably can’t do, which sucks, like bike central park or do several walking campus tours of a few law schools. but i’ll fake out mono and will win. i’ll just pretend i don’t have it and laugh at the symptoms. that’ll show it. actually, that will probably only hurt me, but still–a girl’s gotta try. this is new york we’re talking about 🙂

what’s interesting is that i’ve been doing some in depth research and study on two specific things: blood and rest.

God put two and two together and made that a reality: through a blood test i will be forced to rest. which, actually, i’m ok with.

in leviticus 17:11 it talks about blood–what it is and its significance to us in life: “For the life or essence of a creature is in the blood, and I have given it to you to make atonement for yourselves on the altar; it is the blood that makes atonement for one’s life.”

blood is a very important element to God and to the rules of nature; it has physical and spiritual implications.

in hebrews 3 and 4 it talks about rest–what it means to God and what it represents for us, specifically in Hebrews 4:10-11: “for anyone who enters God’s rest also rests from his own work, just as God did from his. Let us, therefore, make every effort to enter that rest, so that no one will fall by following their [OT Jews] example of disobedience.”

rest is very important to God and to the rules of health; it has physical and spiritual implications.

so here i am “making every effort to enter that rest.” amen.