grant and i had a blast in augusta this weekend, but the real adventure was our labor day fun!

augusta: had THE BEST TIME with his mama and daddy, sister, brother-in-law, and little noel–the new addition to the family. we ate shish kabobs, baked potatoes (my FAVE!) and cheese cake, and cheered the dawgs and the tide to victory. awesome.

labor day: sunday was our three month anniversary, so i decided to plan something fun [a SECRET!] day trip where we could spend quality time together and immerse ourselves in nature.

what we did: drove through most of western north carolina [gorgeous!]
made our way through a local 6 ACRE corn maze [barely! whew!]; SERIOUSLY, the picture is of the maze itself. it was a doozie.

drove the Blue Ridge Parkway

went to Sliding Rock in the Pisgah National Forest and slide down into icy water!

visited several precious lake/ mountain communities including Bat Cave, NC, Cashiers, NC, and Transylvania County, where they dedicate the entire month of October to Halloween and Fall Festivals [now that’s my kinda place!]

checked out the beautiful Looking Glass Falls

loved Brevard

loved even more, the Highlands

hiked the 4,930 ft Whiteside Moutain in the Nantahala National Forest [amazing view from the top]

and stopped last at the Dillard House

hiking waterfalls, viewing cliffs, and taking a roadtrip with my love. could it get any better than that?

ask and it shall be given unto you. welp. ok.

my first of two little nuggets from God hit me today, while driving back from tuscaloosa listening to Rob Bell (oh, how i do love that man). he was talking about honoring people, what that really means, and what that actually looks like. and then rob said two really profound things: 1) you can’t honor them if you are bitter toward them and 2) you’ll only internalize that bitterness, let it fester into hate, then be disgusted and surprised when it takes hold of your life and you suddenly become the very thing(s) that you were rebelling against.

and here’s the nugget: the hate, the bitterness, the frustration with the other person that i can’t forgive, it’s rarely about them. it’s about me. at the heart of the thing i hate most in others is the recognition and rejection of that same disgusting thing in me. ouch. that one hit me like a ton of bricks.

i evaluated the people i had beef with and asked myself why, and it was revolutionary what happened in my soul. it was like i finally confronted what i didn’t know i hated within me, then, having separated the person from the [my] issue i was able to let them off the hook and let go of the bitterness and anger. i realized that all this hating and seeping and raging inside me [that satan cleverly let me overlook and downplay] was really huge and really ugly. and keeping it up was exhausting. the moment i could finally quit blaming them for the hurt in me or the anger in me or the frustration i felt, i was relieved. like i could breathe again. like i didn’t have to keep a running tally of their screw-ups or hang-ups or things that drive me crazy. and i could just be. and deal with the ugliness in me that i didn’t even know was there. and, wow, was there some ugliness. i think satan uses our minds, our intelligence, against us sometimes; plays us against ourselves b/c he knows we’ll lose and fall deeper into his trap all the while, without realizing it at all, though thinking it to death. how can i be so self-aware and full of constant self-evaluation, and yet unable to recognize the ugliness in my heart? AND unable to make the connection between that other person’s faults and MY OWN? speck and plank, for goodness sakes!

but God doesn’t give out freebees without expecting us to take the knowledge and apply it to our lives [shoot.]. so, i’ve decided to tell them i’ve been harboring stuff against them, that’s its my fault and my judgment and my own stuff from the beginning, not them, and ask them for forgiveness because i have truly wronged them in my heart.

nugget number two: i cannot gain wisdom without forgiveness of others/ self; if i can’t realize my own stuff and call it what it is and deal with it healthily, it’s like i can skim the top of the water, but never dive into wisdom.

so, i mentioned i was cleaning house. i truly am. i’m throwing out bitterness, hatred, anger, and blame. i’m cleaning out the ugliness in me, [only] with God’s grace. and i’m replacing that crap with forgiveness, ready for God to dwell richly in my newer, cleaner space and teach me a few more nuggets about wisdom.

ps: rob quoted colossians 3:13, 16: “13 Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. 16 Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom he gives. Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts.” amen, sister friend!

what do y’all think? xoxo

if all my blog posts were put together in a word picture, this is what it would look like.

create your own fun at wordle

as my good friend annie has noted, “God and I–we work in themes” and our current theme seems to be wisdom. in the past few weeks, i have heard two different people preach on gaining wisdom–who did in the bible, who listened to the people with wisdom, and how the whole thing turned out for God’s glory, even when it looked rather desperate for the person/ nation at the time–and have come across three bible verses about wisdom. interesting…

andy stanley preached on wisdom being one of the main messages he would give in his series, letters to the next president–an extra-earth-shatteringly-awesome sermon series… love it.

and these are the verses i’ve come across in my quiet times lately:

solomon’s wisdom:
“God gave Solomon wisdom and very great insight, and breadth of understanding as measureless as the sand on the seashore. Solomon’s wisdom was greater than the wisdom of all the men of the East, and greater than all the wisdom of Egypt. He was wiser than any other man… and his fame spread to all the surrounding nations. He spoke three thousand proverbs and his songs numbered a thousand and five. He described plant life… He also taught about animals and birds, reptiles and fist. Men of all nations came to listen to Solomon’s wisdom, sent by all the kings of the world, who had heard of his wisdom.”
1 kings 4: 29-34.

Wisdom with a capital “W”:
“Listen as Wisdom calls out! Hear as Understanding raises her voice!… Choose my instruction rather than silver, and knowledge rather than pure gold. For Wisdom is far more valuable than rubies. Nothing you desire can compare with it.”
proverbs 8:1, 10-11.

prophecy of jesus:
“And the Spirit of the Lord with rest on him–the Spirit of wisdom and understanding, the Spirit of counsel and might, the Spirit of knowledge and the fear of the Lord. He will delight in obeying the Lord. He will not judge by appearance nor make a decision based on hearsay. He will give justice to the poor and make fair decisions for the exploited… He will wear righteousness like a belt and truth like an undergarment.”
isaiah 11:2-5.

and my personal favorite:
“The Lord our God hasn’t explained the present or the future, but He has commanded us to obey the laws He gave us and trust in Him.” Deuteronomy 29:29.

i feel like in this world and in school and in the socio-political circles we exist in, it’s often viewed as stupid or ignorant to just admit “i don’t know” so we people create and invent things–statistics, plans for the future, relationships, conflict, even fake-resolution–to convince ourselves and others that we have it together, that we are intelligent and well-educated, and that we are in control. but we’re not. we never were. what i’m realizing more and more is that God doesn’t think we’re stupid for saying “i just don’t know,” “i don’t have all the answers,” “i’m not in control of that [insert here]”–He chooses to see us as obedient, waiting for His will in our lives. we still, of course, must be proactive in discovering his will (not potato-couch-slug-christians), but simply accepting that we don’t know and submitting to God brings him glory. and when we do it, other people notice. waiting on the Lord, fearing and trusting the Lord, being submissive and obedient to a God i haven’t met in a world that is not The Kingdom–these are my toughest spiritual battles. and they involve a lot of mental debates that i usually lose with myself, as well. i’m sick of trying to reason it out or out-think God. and this–admitting that “i don’t know”–i think is the beginning of Wisdom. so i’m currently cleaning house, throwing out all the things i thought i knew, and relearning the spiritual lessons and disciplines again with a focus on gaining wisdom. we’ll see what happens. i’m kinda excited, but what do i know 😉

i still don’t know where God’s taking my with this one, but i’m open to instruction and ready to learn of this obedience, knowledge, truth, and, of course, wisdom.

so my classes don’t totally suck. in fact, i found out by talking to many of my friends in the program who chose their classes based on content and professor (not by time slot) that the classes i picked haphazzardly are actually AMAZING. they’re with three professors that “everyone says” you’re supposed to take your last semester and “you’ll totally love”. yay. so God’s picture really is bigger than my time-slot-class-schedule. good to know.

i’m really excited about every single class. in one, students from last semester are on their way to being published (my next goal) and in another past students are presenting a presentation at national conferences (HUGE! and a good way to network and find funding for fun projects, etc). so i’m pumped. i’m gonna be the student they talk about next semester who…(fill in the blank)… [maybe if i’m lucky].

i’m exhausted, but the drive is not all that bad and gas is so cheap in tuscaloosa, grant and i are hoping the commute won’t put the incredible divot in our budget that we initially dreaded (again, God is good and so much bigger than our little stresses).

quick happy updates:
got to SEE NIDA WEDNESDAY. like face to face. in person. got to hug her neck and hangout on my bed chatting for hours like we did in college. loved it! my little nids! what a treat!

got to talk to ashers in the midst of her present chaos: mason leaving/ Fay distroying everything/ beginning grad school/ classes cancelled. she’s a blessing as always.

hopefully going to lunch with jen garrett friday (LOVE that possibility)

and having the altmixes over on monday!

broke bread with allison and drew last week and am hoping to catch up with many more friends very soon.

friends from germany are in town and grant and i are hanging with them at the LAKE this weekend! yay!

long time family friend mary catherine caldwell and her fiance syman stevens are having an ENGAGEMENT PARTY in huntsville this weekend, and we’ll be heading up from the lake to enjoy their company for the night, too. CONGRATS MIMI AND SYMAN! love yall!

grant’s cousin (and my own good-good-friend-turned-family) evan duggar, a freshman at clemson, is coming in town next weekend for the alabama-clemson game! i think it’s being played in the georgia dome! she’s bringing friends and we’re so excited! it’s like college all over again mixed with family! yay!

that reminds me, you should all come visit and play asap as well. and on that note, i’m out. between readings and driving 4.5 hours today, i’m exhausted [but excited]. peace.