My own blindness astounds me.

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in someone else’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from the other person’s eye.” {Matthew 7:3-5}

It’s amazing the things that seem so clear in me someone else’s life but I’m blind to that very thing in my own life. I recently said:

“How does she not know that faith is grown life, not in bible studies?!”

Wisdom, knowledge, discernment, identifying and drawing near to the Character of God, the Person of Christ, the Miracle of the Holy Spirit all happens in bible study–and bible studies are great! But faith is something that is grown in the everyday–the good and the bad, but especially the bad…

How did I miss God growing my faith (even especially in my doubt and anger) by all this in my life?? How??

So I’ve made up with God and we’re on speaking terms again; things are good and I’m now open to instruction (whereas before I had serious bouts of throwing my toys on the floor and stamping my feet around like a toddler). We all have our moments. And thankfully, in God’s grace, we can have them unedited–He can take it.

But when we are ready to grow up a bit–and I am ready–we can learn from the pulling and stretching, the pruning and circumcising, when we are ready to accept both the new wine and the new wineskins, our covenant (like a reconciled marriage) is a beautiful and intimate one.

That’s where I find myself most of the time these days. The difficult, graceful, new, frustrating, reassuring place of faith-growing life here in London.