I received this hilarious email from my dear mother and had to share it with you all [hannah, nida, sometimes-ashley and other vegitarians, flexitarians, and vegans, please do not take offense to this post]:

Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a
change! The chicken wanted change!

JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he
recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the
chickens on the other side of the road… ZZZZZzzzzzzzzz

SARAH PALIN: BECAUSE, PRAISE JESUS, I WAS GONNA SHOOT HIS SORRY LIBERAL A** OFF FOR BLOCKING MY VIEW OF RUSSIA!

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little
chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified
to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the
chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn’t about
me.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road.
We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not.
The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground
here.

DICK CHENEY: Where’s my gun?

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the
satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your
definition of crossing?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now
against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the
chicken’s intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black
chickens.

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won’t realize
that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before
it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to
do is help him realize how stupid he’s acting by not taking on his
current problems before adding new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is
why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken
learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I’m
going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the
road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the
road.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was
going. I had a standing order at the Farmers Market to sell my eggs when
the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider
information.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn’t that interesting? In a few moments, we will be
listening to the chicken
tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced
a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream
of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads
together, in peace.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road
move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

Ok. So. I have a confession to make: I might have a renewed addiction to… Dawson’s Creek.

I know. I know. But that’s so high school… and then we all watched that in college in between classes. In the past, right? Nope. I’m watching it all over again, reliving the teen angst, one dvd at a time. o.m.g.

Anyone else have a guilty pleasure? Annie, I know you love Reba, and girl, I love her too. Anyone else???

I can’t believe that Alabama beat Georgia last night. Apparently I’m now more into football that I ever was in college and follow it ardently. Seriously. Last night we were all in shock. Then the fighting that broke out around us snapped us back to reality, we picked-up our tail-gate, and went home. Sad day.

On a lighter note, we loved watching Ole Miss demolish Florida. THAT was awesome. Actually, yesterday there were a lot of upsets, I just never saw the Bama/ UGA one coming. Family gatherings with Mama and Daddy Heath should be interesting for the next few years… xoxoxo

today, buckhead church was awesome. not that it isn’t other sundays, but today was different. today was a baptism sunday that engaged my heart, mind (and tears) till the end.

The first lady, a very attractive 30-something explained her story: college, met a guy, got married, got pregnant. sounds great until the guy left her 8 months pregnant, broke and alone. she started coming to buckhead church, working in waumba land volunteering with kids and coming back around to the idea of God when she met a guy. they got engaged, but the engagement was broken “abruptly” and she hit an all time low. she realized that she needed jesus, and surrendered to the Lord. what is interesting in this story is that you don’t immediately feel content b/c it’s not over yet. she doesn’t yet have the perfect house and kids and husband, but the Lord is faithful and can give her hope and love in the midst of all that “unfinished-ness”–enough to allow them to be baptized. she (and all the girls on my row, myself included) cried through the whole thing. it was beautiful.

The second was a guy from britain. his tape messed up. no sound. seriously. the tech guys could not make it work, and there was an anticipation that turned to panic when we all realized we wouldn’t hear his story–you mean God brought him all this way to this place to have a congregation not hear his story? five minutes later they gave the man a mic and he gave a concise slightly emotional account of his story. it was amazing, b/c it wasn’t recorded or proofed or perfect: it was REAL. afterward, we all stood (several thousand) and applauded his courage to speak about a personal relationship, a personal transformation live in front of so many strangers. it was a beautiful thing: what God had done in his life and what God did in the hearts of our church today. needless to say, i was a wreck by the end.

the worship was touching and andy’s message was–of course–totally real and pertinent, but the service was unforgettable because of the people who shared their stories and were baptized. wow.

as i was recently writing and researching web 2.0, i discovered more about the “business-world facebook” linked in. then, on my way home from tuscaloosa yesterday, i listened to rob bell talk about being connected, and i wondered: am i too linked in?

i have facebook, gmail, gchat, a blog, twitter, a cell phone, internet, text, voice mail. that’s quite a list of distractions. i love them all, but sometimes i’m on information overload. i need to just turn off my phone, stop checking the web, and just be–by myself and with people. i need to stop serving communication and just enjoy it. i need a time out. so tonight i’m doing just that. grant and i are having a date–he’s cooking for me! yay! i’m turning off my phone. i’m not checking the internet. and we’re coming back to some real QT. i can’t wait. i’ll come back to the infromation highway tmrw, i guess, but just for tonight, it’s like i’m not linked in.